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Misty Fiorazo

 

 

The greatest thing that I have in my life is my son. Ever since he came into my life I have grown so much it’s hard to see myself of how I used to be. Emery is my reason for everything that I have accomplished so far in my life. Emery is the reason why I’m alive today. Being a mother is so hard to put into words but it’s definitely the best thing in the world.

The worst day of my life was just over a year ago. It was November 1st when I had made the worst mistake in my entire life. Emery was about four months old at the time, I was already dealing with severe depression when the postpartum hit. I was going through a bad break up, I was dealing with a certain thing that I cannot say and I was dealing with family members disowning me while on top of it all I was trying to rekindle a relationship with my sister. I felt like the world around was falling apart and there was no way for me to fix anything. One day I had finally hit rock bottom I went around my house just telling everyone that I loved them but they didn’t think anything of it. I grabbed all my meds I prescribed for pain and went into my parents bathroom and grabbed there bottle of advil pm. I went downstairs into a room that we were fixing and sat on the bed than one by one swallowed each pill. I was really out of it when I got a call from my best friend at the time. When I answered the phone she asked me what was up and I just told her that I was sleeping. For some reason she didn’t believe me this time she started to cry than hung up the phone. Next thing I could remember was one of my brothers storming into the room with my mom and dad right behind him. When he was carrying me upstairs my mom was screaming at me, your fine, there's nothing wrong with you. My brother sat on the couch holding me when I looked at him he was crying. That was the first time I saw my brother cry like that. When the paramedics showed up my mom was still saying the same thing. My dad was holding Emery and all I could remember saying was please don’t take my baby. When I came to I was in the ambulance they had me strapped down and my body was shaking the paramedics just kept talking but I couldn’t hear what there were saying. When we got to the hospital all the nurses kept asking me questions but I couldn’t answer them. The only thought that ran through my head was Emery. I was so far gone that I could hear my baby crying. I called my mom and kept asking her why is Emery crying or is he okay. I put my mother through hell, she was trying so hard to keep it together. I thought that while I was on the phone with my mom that she was actually there in person. I could feel her touch I could feeling everything. My whole world got dark I felt myself slipping away from life and I was ready. That’s when I herd Emery. I could hear only his tiny little whimpers. It was like he was telling to come back and I did. My body was pulsating and shaking I was throwing up. When everything was done and over with and I was now in holding the doctor came to me and told me how he saved my life. I cried for days, I asked myself why. Why did I do this, How could I strip Emery away from me. He needed me and I made the worst decision I could ever make.

Ever since then I regret that horrible choice. From that day forward I have made it to where everyday I try to be the best mother I could possibly be. I make sure that Emery has everything he needs to become his best self. I look at my little boy to give me strength. If he could have brain surgery and all these other things done to him than I can do anything. I couldn’t imagine life without Emery and soon I’ll have my little Nova too. I believe that I was meant to be a mom because if I wasn’t I would not be the person I am today. Emery brings the best out in me and I couldn’t ask for a better son.